just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
