dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
