absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
