I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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