Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
