so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
