Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
