so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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