No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
True college students do jello shots in the library
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
