It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
