So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
