In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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