Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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