If i come over, it means nothing
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
