kristin has been a bad kristin
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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