I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
