haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
