i jhust puked up my retainher.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
