She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
