I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
