do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
