I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
