Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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