I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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