dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
