apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
