My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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