you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
