Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
