So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
