just come out here and I will go home with you...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My ass is underappreciated
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
