i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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