omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
