i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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