Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
