How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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