If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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