come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My pussy is not your playground.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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