My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
