My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
