im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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