Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
