I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
