can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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