we're blogging at a bar
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
