Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
