he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
