you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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