I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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