So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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