Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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