Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
