a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
